It's too easy.

I caught a whiff of his 2009 fantasy draft in Sports Illustrated's Fantasy Edition. Sweet corn hitler, it stinks like a bog in Louisiana, it does.

I know we've played four weeks of NFL football, so you may be thunkin' that I'm playin' a lil' Monday Morning QB. WELL I AIN'T. This team sucks now. It sucked before. It sucks forever. If you kidnapped a foreigner, knowing full well they'd never played fantasy football, and told them to draft a team, it would be comparable IF NOT DOWNRIGHT BETTER.

His team name is "The Boston Pedroias". Barf. Better name suggestions: "The Kansas City DeJesuses" "The Toronto Barajases" and "The Stupid Nouns"

Here's his draft. He is picking sixth in a 12 team league. There are 16 rounds.

1. Brian Westbrook -

Comment: "He's got one more 1,800-yard, 13-TD season in him."

These are difficult things to do. The yard thing is a remote "maybe." The thirteen touchdown thing is something he's done once in his career. Oh, and the injury thing. Things. Some question marks.

Before I continue, can we pretend Peter is picking this team and not some sloppy intern? It would make you and me feel better about this entire exercise. Okay yes.

2. Knowshon Moreno -

For reference, the pick after this is Andre Johnson. The pick after that is Peyton Manning. The pick after that is Brandon Jacobs.

Knowshon.Moreno.

Keep in mind one more thing. I don't know the setup for this league. They appear to have a flex (one writer picked four consecutive RBs to start the damn thing.) I don't want to make assumptions, because when you make an assumption it makes an "ass" out of the "ump" and he will "shun" you.

3. Kevin Smith -

Not a bad third round pick. Ryan Grant was selected with the next pick, but he "kinda" sucks.

Click read more (to read more)

- Mark Sanchez is legit. The Andrew Siciliano Entourage East Coast chapter will look to be adding Sanchez as a member. Sanchez is a no brainer for my Entourage as he a) is a star in my favorite East Coast city to party  b) is a king here in LA so he can help be a wingman on two different costs c) he can either be started at the Starting NFL QB or good looking tan latino with good hair positions on my Andrew Siciliano partying entourage fantasy team.  This move allows me to drop Oscar De La Hoya or John Kitna, both of which were questionable additions.

- I have no doubt both Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan will both be back in the playoffs this year and I'll call it a coin flip that one of them gets to the Super Bowl this year. Anyone want to wager? If I win I get $1000. If you win I'll call anyone you want a huge dbag on the RZC next year when you know he'll be watching. Contact my agent for more details.

- I am a West Coast guy (you could probably tell by how good looking, tan, and well dressed I am). Given my expertise, I am going to say the 49ers are indeed the best team in the West. That's including the AFC West where the Chargers have not been impressive and the Broncos have just beat up on Ohio's riff raff.

- Tom Brady's reign as being regarded as the best QB in the league might be coming to an end. Brees is the stats guy while Manning is the guy who's winning more games with his arm when it comes down to it.

Brady's come along way since his 2000 draft, but the dynasty may be in its last hurrah.

more after the jump/click read more

No Bathroom Breaks? What does that mean? What is this? Who the hell is Andrew Sicialiano? I'm this handsome young chap below.

I'm kind of a big deal. Big enough to have my own Wikipedia Entry. Unfortunately though the god damn Wikipedia admin nazis are thinking of taking down my entry.

" It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into FSN Final Score. (Discuss)  "

Seriously, its just that my parents point to the Wikipedia article and its number one in my google search. I thought I had arrived, but somehow the ass clowns at Wikipedia are hating. Whatever.

To quote my Wikipedia article that may be "merged":

"Andrew Siciliano is a sports anchor for Fox Sports and a sports radio talk show host for ESPN AM710. He can be seen on FSN Final Score, where he is a co-anchor. He also co-hosts the "LA Sports Live" local radio show with Mychal Thompson. Formerly he was heard (along with Krystal Fernandez) on GameTime Live, which used to air on FOX Sports Radio from 7:00 to 10:00 PM ET.

Siciliano was the play-by-play announcer for the Los Angeles Avengers of the Arena Football League until the Avengers folded and no longer exist as an AFL Franchise and has previously called games for the Las Vegas Gladiators. "

So yeah, I am on my way up as smooth talking, witty, and  knowledgeable sports broadcaster that also happens to be really handsome. The thing I am most know for though is my work on 17 Sundays a year for DirectTV's Red Zone Channel.

America's most passionate football fans watch me on Sundays.....all day.....with no commercials. I am basically the remote control and announcer for the Crack of America's football diehards. If there is a touchdown, I either show it to you live or in the moments after. I flip through all games on Sunday and take me with you, delivering context and insightful commentary mixed with subtle humor.

Got a couple grand on this week's game, you're probably watching me. Fantasy football dork.....yeah you know me. Hate your wife and love football, yes you've seen my pretty mug.

The thing though is I hate this job. Its 6 1/2 hours every Sunday and there are no commercials. I can't eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. God forbid you find out about the Packers 6th TD against the Lions defense 5 minutes late while I drain the lizard and slam down a 10 piece Chicken Nuggets. But I signed up for this and I can't complain. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea.

It was a few years ago when my agent called me with this opportunity. He really sold me on it and hell it was a decent paycheck.

I thought to myself , "Get paid to watch football? Hell yeah!"

I was doing some play by play for the local Arena team and this would be a nice way to hopefully put myself in line to be a NFL announcer. The cool part was that I would be doing color and play by play which is rare in this business. Luckily I'm well versed in all things oral.

At first, it was cool and to some degree it still is. But let's recap why the job kind of sucks:

- I live in LA which means 2 things. 1) Football starts at 10am out here and 2) Its sweet to party, especially out here on a Saturday Night. With makeup (yes that pretty mug needs a little TLC and I don't just roll out of bed to get that hair), I need to be here at 8am in a freaking suit and I'm going to talk non stop in a suit with nothing to drink or eat or ability to go to the bathroom.

Wearing a lot of layers when you are hung over sucks.....not being able to rehydrate sucks, not getting a meal in you to suck up the toxins, and obviously having to talk with booze still flowing through your system is just a recipe for disaster.

Basically if there is anything fun on a Saturday Night, I have to abstain and its really killed my game.

- My agent told me "they really love you.....They think you could be the next Joe Buck!"  Next Joe Buck?  No fu$king way!

I do radio, I am on Twitter, and I don't suck. Now I'm being modeled after the biggest douche in sports. Great. Deep down inside during the show, I just want to stop with the vanilla commentary and just let it loose. Like would it be so bad to say "Listen....the Rams suck, so you're not going to get updates on this game." I secretly lust to be Jim Rome and having some pro athlete attack me for being a jackass. That's living my friend!

- Lastly, I don't even know what's going on. I just kind of zone out talking somewhere along the way for 6 1/2 hours. I still bet on games and am thinking about my fantasy team, but I just kind of  "go dark" sometime during the second quarter of the early games. I never really come to until all the Sunday day games are over. By then my throat is throbbing from no beverage, my stomach is empty, and my bladder is full. Do people at Guantanamo Bay have it this bad?

That's what I miss the most. I used to casually watch football, maybe crack a beer and have a friend over. Now...its my job and I am barely conscious as I spew commentary for 6 hours. You try doing anything for  6 hours+. Unless its sleeping it aint easy my friend.

So what the hell is this blog?

I need to find my inner Andrew again. I need to re-find my love for announcing and football and flush my personality of this Joe Buck shit. That is the only way for me to achieve greatness as a person and in my career.

This blog is my place to let loose. To find my qualm as Rod Tidwell calls it.

Note:

This blog is not authored by Andrew Sicliano and has no affiliation with him. We really like Andrew and hope he likes us.